Tuesday, February 10, 2009

Four Hour Training to Sit in a Chair

Ergonomics training is a four hour class that teaches you how to properly sit in a fucken chair... I would love to know how much the company I work for paid to send us on this waste of a day class.

This lady walks into class and very serously tries to explain why sitting in a chair is important.

Monday, February 9, 2009

Chris Brown Brings New Meaning to His Hit Song 'No Air'.....

I think the lyric is how are you going to breath without me? Well Chris I guess with out you choking me and closing my larynx I will have no problem breathing without you...... NO AIR! NO AIR!..... She gets no air when you are smackin a bitch.......

Saturday, February 7, 2009

Ban All Kellogg's Products as Munchie Foods

Why should we partake in a product that doesn't support a person the partakes in weed. I will no longer support Kellogg's because of them dropping Michael Phelps. And if you read the list of products they are pretty yummy munchies foods.... WOAH!!!!!!!!!

I am Outraged at the People who are Outraged at Michael Phelps

I think people are outraged because they realize that all those stupid Pot commercials are wrong... It's like: If you smoke pot you will grow up and do nothing... You will sit on the coach all day and accomplish shit.... YEAH! Except fucken 8 GOLD METALS..... But come on... who does not have a picture of themselves smoking a bong.... This picture is as important as a picture with Santa or a picture with Mickey Mouse.... You have to have a picture smoking a bong... But shame on Kellogg's for not standing by Phelps.........

I officially declare a ban on all Kellogg products as munchie food. If you smoke pot you are not allowed to eat such munchies staples like Cheez-its or Famous Amos, OR THE MOST SATISFYING MUCHIE FOOD MOFUGIN KEEBLER FUCKEN FUDGE SHOP COOKIES!!! Actually after reviewing Kellogg's site I have found several munchie favorites.

Road Rage

I hate living in the town I work in. I have always lived quite a distance away from my co-workers. Unfortunately I suffer from extreme road rage and I will often find myself cursing out the slow ass driver in front of me only to find out it is a co-worker, a poor old lady, Mrs. Smegle, and AS I called her a fat fucken whore.... I will find myself flipping the bird and honking my horn, and as she calming and slowly looks over to see who it is, adjusting her glasses and focusing her eyes, I find myself quickly turning the bird into a friendly wave, and my face from a disgruntled, enraged driver into a friendly smile.... Hi Mrs. Smegle, How the fuck are ya! Push the gas you fucken bitch I mudder under my breath.

I love how everyone I know complains

Everyone, everyone, every single person I knows complains about money and how broke they are. Oh I don't know how I am going to pay rent, I have blown through both paychecks this month.... This sentence or conversation then goes onto about 15 things that they bought or are going to buy that they don't fucken need.

I bought this new boots they are awesome. Or check out my new watch. I have to get this new shirt it is awesome. Oh want to go out to eat tonight. Let's drop $50 on sushi and liquor.

And I have no money usually turns into, oh check out my new cell phone, it is freaken awesome and cost $100 more a month.... Man I can't pay my electric this month. I am however typing this on my Blackberry Storm that I can barely afford so I totally include myself in everyone.

Also I love the people I know at work. Whenever an event happens such as Birthdays, Boss's day, and type of donations they never have money but when it is their birthday you all know it and better get them a card. You ask them, hey want to chip in $2 for pizza, no I don't have it, but they just bought a brand new car....