Sunday, April 19, 2009

Awkward Public Situation

I find it amusing that some of my most social and outward friends are often so weird and quiet in the bathroom. It seems to be the one place that is often more verbally quiet then the library. I say verbal only because certain other sounds of farts and the obvious results of farts a kerplunk a dump momma shit....... So I love to break the normal routine of the day by walking into a Men's bathroom, heading straight to the urinal, propping both arms on the urinal stall walls in a relaxed look, and screaming at the top of my lungs "It Burns! It fucken Burns like razor blades." Sometimes I add a bit of an English accent for flavor!

Wednesday, April 15, 2009


I really wish suicide was an option for me. Not in a cry for help way or a dramatic look at me I need attention but more for a good nights rest for eternity. I don't feel like I am getting enough sleep and I feel like that might be a solution. Death! I have also gone casket shopping for the most comfortable Sealy's mattress lined caskets.... Cause when you are sleeping forever that shit has to be top notch. I want to snuggle up in my casket and get some eternal shut eye...

Friday, April 10, 2009

Facebook IM

I hate when your friends on facebook instant message you... That is such an invasion of privacy. Its like if I really liked you I would have your fucken number and I would text you! If I considered you a friend then I would have you blackberry messenger address and I would BB message you! I don't come and shit on your lawn why would you shit on my facebook with your invasive ways!

Drugs = Fun

Drugs aren't bad. Think about it? How can something so fun really be bad? Well I guess if you don't count possible death as a side effect. Drugs are still number one for recreation. It's just when you start doing other stuff like stealing of sucking dick that's when it's a problem.

Hooker IOU

Ever give a hooker an IOU it gets kind of ugly quick. But I am sorry you are stupid if you don't get the money up front. The bitch gets all upset like I need my money now to give to her pimp or something.

Sunday, April 5, 2009


I always encounter some kind of weirdness in GA. First it was a guy that just talked funny. Then one trip we made a pit stop and as my dick was in my hand and I was peeing. This guy walks into the bathroom and asks if I am almost done.... Like my dick has an indicator that fucken tells me how much urine I have left. But today takes the fucken cake.... While I was pumping my gas.... Just all alone minding my fucken business. The gas station attendant starts reading me hymns from the bible....... I politely told him I was a Jew.... Then he started reading from the old testaments..... WEIRD!