It's 2009 and we still haven't mastered shipping........ How does FedEx lose my package....... With all those fancy tracking numbers and a website that lets you track your package...... HOW THE FUCK do you lose a package... you should be tracking the fucken thing. Now I am not bashing Fedex by any means I am sure it happens with all the shipping companies...BUT REALLY.. You lost my package... I am glad I got insurance on it, usually I am a Jew(I really am a Jew,Like Jewish not cheap, but I am cheap too) about that shit... they where like it $2.50 for each additional $100. and my Jewness was like DOOOOONNNTTT.... But thank god I did... Or I would be out $200...
So I call Fed Ex and open a claim.... and the lady was really nice, she says it takes 24 hrs for a tracking specialist to call me back... COOL... So 24 hrs later the tracking guys calls me back.. and you can tell he takes his job way to seriously... He was all like what was in the box? and I could of gone two ways with it... One a freakin bomb.... But not funny and it makes me look stupid cause I called up and claimed it... Like oh my bomb is missing in the mail.... so the other way....... A DILDO... I freakin told the guy I mailed a dildo... jut for shits and giggles... He was really professional about it too. He was like what color is the dildo.... and I so wanted at that moment to say... OH JUST JOKING... I mailed a cell phone... But who asks what color your dildo is... so I said when I pulled it from my ass it is heat sensitive so it was a dark purple... but when it is cold it is usually a light clear see through lavender........ And as if he has heard this before he goes to the next question... he says what is the value of the contents in the package?............ I pause and like have no idea how to respond... The dildo was $100 as fucks r us...... the ky to lube it on was about $5... but my anal juice which I expressed shipped so it would still be warm, that my friend is priceless....... so i will take my $200 and shove it up my ass again.......
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Heat sensitive my ass!
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