Now in this story I broke the cardinal rule of wingmaness. I hooked him up with a complete psycho, knowing she was completely crazy. She was a coworker who was constantly crying and complaining about life and unfortunately I have a wife that complains to me and I do not need two women crying on my shoulder. I noticed after 8 hours of her complaining I would be completely drained and I was not able to listen to my wife bitch anymore....... Not good... So I decided to hook her up with my bachelor friend in the hopes he would occupy her for a while....
But in my defense and before I hooked them up I warned him several times and specifically told him "She is crazy, Hit it and run(not hit it and quit it, run as fast as you can and maybe change your name), and possible stalker." But he loves a challenge so it was on.....
Now before they go out that night I specifically tell him she is a one night bitch. You fuck her once and call it a day, if you show interest you will be trapped. So first night he doesn't bust his nut..... So feeling that she owes him that nut, he gives it another go...... Well she is a one night girl... "Lonely, cat lady, born to be a hit and quit girl." So when they hook up again she is under the impression that they are dating. By the third and last fuck she is naming there children......
The night of the last fuck once she falls asleep he leaves in the middle of the night. She blasts him on text explaining that by him leaving in the middle of the night made her feel like a cheap whore. He cleverly turns that fight around on her saying he couldn't sleep with all the cats making noise and cut the relationship clean without a stalker............ And the moral of the story is she no longer bitches to me about her relationship woes because I hooked them up.......
Thankfully I can post this anonymously. 3 load less lays and your out!
ReplyDeleteIf I were meant to be in a "relationship" God wouldn't have made more than 1 hot chic with perky ( o )( o )s and a soft va-jay-jay.
That's all I am saying....I will open all the doors in the world and tell you how pretty you are until the day we die. Just understand I need the poon. I want the poon. I LOVE thee poon.
Haha well bro my favorite part of this is that she is pissed and doesn't call your buddy, she TEXTS him. What, is she still in junior high? Thats hilarious man.
ReplyDeleteMentally! Yes she is in junior high!
ReplyDeleteWell, she only texts him because she is fucking a married co-worker of Peter and myself now. So the less she talks to the OP, the less likely he is to tell me anything and the less likely there is to be an awkward moment between anyone.
ReplyDelete